dadanape: Girlfriend and facebook - Sexuality and Relationships

Senortrippington
Bootleg lean consumer

Registered: 09/21/11
Posts: 587
Last seen: 11 hours, 5 minutes
My girlfriend is currently studying a semester abroad - she is in spain. We have agreed to keep the long distance relationship - skyline occasionally and texting a bit every day (at some point there is only so much you can say over text). As one might expect, she is meeting a lot of new people.

About a week after going there I see this guy in a picture with her. In group pictures, he always seems to have part of his body leaning on her - sometimes his head. Now, these didn't really? bother me at all.? A couple days later, she puts a profile picture up of her and him. My gut instinct is that nothing has happened between the two but rather? she just wanted to see how I would react. I didn't say anything because in all honesty it never really crossed my mind. It's just a stupid profile picture - I have tons I pictures with other girls and so on.?

Anyways, three-4 days later, the picture isn't changed but deleted completely.? To me, this is the more shockin than anything else. Since it was her default pic. It was pretty noticeable that it had suddenly been deleted. What do you guys think? Trying to get a reaction out of me and failed? Trying to hide something?

I'd rather avoid a needless confrontation if you guys believe my thoughts to be unwarranted.

NizzyJones
Fight evil with funk

Registered: 08/22/06
Posts: 1,786
Loc: Somewhere North of Normal
Last seen: 17 hours, 25 minutes

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Wildflower seed on the sand and stone, may the four winds blow you safely home

koraks
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Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 18,720

Sounds like something's up, man. The only thing you can do is ask her about it. Do it over skype, not by texting.

baraka

Registered: 07/15/00
Posts: 10,546
Loc: ohio
Last seen: 16 hours, 22 minutes

find some local pussy?

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This is the only time I really feel alive.

withoutawire
Bunny Lover
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Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 9,987
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 13 hours, 21 minutes

Quote:

koraks said:
Sounds like something's up, man. The only thing you can do is ask her about it. Do it over skype, not by texting.

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:tigerbunny:

Senortrippington
Bootleg lean consumer

Registered: 09/21/11
Posts: 587
Last seen: 11 hours, 5 minutes

Quote:

withoutawire said:
Quote:

koraks said:
Sounds like something's up, man. The only thing you can do is ask her about it. Do it over skype, not by texting.

Good idea.

Lynnch
Strangerer

Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 3,950
Long distance, ugh, rough.

It seems like if it's gonna work out, you ought to be able to talk to her about it, about any thing. But then again maybe this is something you don't wanna know? I wouldn't confront her like "Who the hell was that dude in your profile pic?!?" but if you have to bring it up maybe something casual like "Hey what happened to that pic of you and your friend whatshisname?, that was a good pic..."? ? You either trust her or you don't, and you ought to keep in touch with her by talking to her- not by facebook stalking and reading into every picture she puts up.

All We Perceive
Philosopher

Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 7,223
Loc: colorado
Last seen: 9 hours, 13 minutes

Quote:

Lynnch said:
Long distance, ugh, rough.
It seems like if it's gonna work out, you ought to be able to talk to her about it, about any thing. But then again maybe this is something you don't wanna know? I wouldn't confront her like "Who the hell was that dude in your profile pic?!?" but if you have to bring it up maybe something casual like "Hey what happened to that pic of you and your friend whatshisname?, that was a good pic..."? ? You either trust her or you don't, and you ought to keep in touch with her by talking to her- not by facebook stalking and reading into every picture she puts up.

:lolsy: ? Spot on advice as usual.? Playing to a female's ego is always the best move.

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"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

Apropos
Existentialist

Registered: 09/02/12
Posts: 42
I just returned from my study abroad trip.? I was gone for several months, but maintained my LDR with my boyfriend.? Here's the thing about studying abroad.? Your girlfriend is going to meet lots of people and make lots of friends.? Try to be happy for her and support her in her experiences.? Establish some way to effectively communicate your feelings to each other because it will be a pretty rough ride.? But if she is maintaining a LDR while abroad, then you obviously are very important to her.? It's too much work to try to maintain a LDR if this wasn't the case.

So trust your girlfriend, and try not to put too much thought into a facebook picture.? But if you're concerned, ask her about this guy.? Don't "play up her ego." Just ask her, with genuine curiosity, about her experience there.

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Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray. ~ Rumi

lunarpiscean
Stranger

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 21
Last seen: 6 hours, 57 minutes
Maybe something was going on between the two of them & they got into a fight so she deleted it?

Who really knows unless you ask.

Maharishi_2_U
Ex Shroomerite
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Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 3,912
Loc: NotInThisShithole

Facebook + Relationship = fail

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funegi
Stranger

Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 766
Loc: lat: right, long: hi

Quote:

Apropos said:
? It's too much work to try to maintain a LDR if this wasn't the case.
? Don't "play up her ego."

I don't agree. i appreciate the female 2 cents, but no.
she may just be very non-confrontational and would rather not have to deal w/"manning up" and breaking up, but would want the facebooking to do it for her.?
however, the pic could have given the other guy the wrong idea and so she had to take it down to stop him from trying to get in her panties.
i agree you should take lynnch's approach.
make it no big deal, play up her ego, and let her feel like she can tell you everything.
this:

Quote:

Lynnch said:
Long distance, ugh, rough.
It seems like if it's gonna work out, you ought to be able to talk to her about it, about any thing. But then again maybe this is something you don't wanna know? I wouldn't confront her like "Who the hell was that dude in your profile pic?!?" but if you have to bring it up maybe something casual like "Hey what happened to that pic of you and your friend whatshisname?, that was a good pic..."? ? You either trust her or you don't, and you ought to keep in touch with her by talking to her- not by facebook stalking and reading into every picture she puts up.

ForgottenExistence
Stranger
?

Registered: 12/28/12
Posts: 31
Last seen: 12 hours, 5 minutes
I always get concerned when there are females willing to put up a picture in order to "test their man" or "make him jealous"

That mindset is a relationship killer.

nooneman
Stranger
Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 4,342

Quote:

withoutawire said:
Quote:

koraks said:
Sounds like something's up, man. The only thing you can do is ask her about it. Do it over skype, not by texting.

atomicshaman
kind of a dick